Don't have standards: It's easier that way.

Yes, I said it... Life is so much easier when you don't have standards.  You don't have to worry about anything.. you can just live life to the fullest. That's what everyone wants, right?

Wrong.

Too whom much is given, much is required. Almost everything we encounter has standards, that must be upheld for the greater good.

-Your car must meet the standards of inspection, in order to be eligible for the road.
-You must uphold a standard gpa in school, in order to be eligible for grade promotion.
-You must uphold a standard of behavior in public places, as to not be banned indefinately or asked to leave temporarily.

I could go on and on... but why does everything have a standard, except for who we date?

Why is it that one of the most important decisions in life you'll ever make - who you'll spend the rest of your life with, who will parent your children, who will represent you when your not around - is put on the back burner?

Why is it that our standards for love run along the lines of.. How does he/she look? Where does he/she work? What does he/she drive? Where does he/she live? -- now let's be clear, everyone wants someone that they are attracted to, someone who can spoil them and shower them with "just thinking about you" gifts, someone that can walk into a room and make everyone else jealous... but not you, because it's all yours. Yea, that's cute..but is that all?

Question's you might have forgotten about:
How is their temper? How about their soul? How did they grow up and how do their childhood experiences affect who they are today? Do they have children? If so, what kind of parent are they? ... Would you be happy to have them as the parent of your child if it didn't work out?  How do they talk about the opposite sex to you? If you make them mad, will they then talk about you like they talked about the others? What are their goals? Do they align with yours? Are you strong enough to help them meet those goals. Are you upgrading, or downgrading because you are lonely? How many red flags have you ignored, because it's just small things? (100 pennies make a dollar) - let it marinate.

I never realized how shallow I could be, until I really wanted serious companionship. I never realized what I would go through to get it, either.

Standards, rules and laws are put in place so that chaos will not outweigh order.

Having no standards is easier than having to date strategically and with purpose. But at what expense? Letting men and women run a muck in your life is stressful... When you set the bar high, those who don't meet it will soon fall by the wayside. And those who do, which should be very few, will have no problem working for the prize...YOU!

#getrealmovement #dontbebamboozled

Make Up Your Mind!

Ok...Men and Women, please make up your minds. Do you want to be in a relationship or not? Do you NEED to be in a relationship or not? IF you find yourself out of a relationship more than in one.. If you're in a different relationship every year, and THIS ONE is THE ONE every year.... If you feel it necessary to explain why you are not in your relationship on social media... If as soon as you break up with your partner you are on statuses and in inboxes selling yourself to someone else... my guess is, you don't NEED to be in a relationship.

(Transparent moment: this was me once. I just wanted companionship, so if i felt the feeling was mutual.. i would jump in, heart first)

Just because you didn't cheat does NOT make you a good boyfriend or girlfriend. Yay, one point for you. It's deeper than that... How's your attitude? How do you react when you don't get your way? Do you express yourself and your feelings positively or hold anger In until you explode? You buy him/her things, but do you listen? Do you sacrifice? (hint: if it's not hard to give up, its not a sacrifice)

Once you realize that you are the common denominator in all of your failed relationships.. maybe you'll see that the change needs to happen in you... not in everybody you pursue. I can almost bet, once you fix you... you won't go through the same cycles you're used to.

No secure woman wants a man that just bashed his ex on social media, or ever for that matter, and is now looking for companionship. No secure man wants a woman who is always hollering that she doesn't need a man and then crying because she's single.

Hurt people, hurt people. It's OK to admit that you're hurt, but it is not ok to look for a companion to cover up the hurt that you or someone else caused.

TIP: Anyone who sees how unstable you are and still wants to be with you, is also unstable. That is not them "holding you down"  that's you both being unstable together. People who are stable, recognize their value and what they bring to the table..and they will not diminish their value by connecting with someone who doesn't realize the same.

#getrealmovement #dontbebamboozled it's OK to be alone.. don't be scared of that. Being double minded is far worse.