-I wake up looking like Beyonce just before she hits the stage....Flawless. I gaze into the huge rock on my ring finger and thank God for this life. I roll over to my honey, the father of my child, kiss him gently on the cheek and whisper, "Rise and shine sunshine!" He obliges my request and our day begins. As he's getting our little one ready for school, daddy daughter time, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a southern home style breakfast for my family to enjoy. We pray, we feast. He heads to "The Office" and I tend to "school duty," Carpooling and PTA board meeting before heading to My office. Throughout the day we send sweet messages and "WOW, flowers!" I am so...
--OK OK.. In a perfect world!
Single Parent - A single parent is a parent, not living with a spouse or partner, who has most of the day-to-day responsibilities in raising the child or children. A singleparent is usually considered the primary caregiver, meaning the parent the children have residency with the majority of the time.
I just wanted to set the record straight, a single parent is not JUST a parent whom doesn't have contact with the other parent, it is a parent who is not WITH the other parent. The father/mother does not have to be a "deadbeat" in order for you you be considered a single parent. This post is for single mothers and FATHERS!
- Now that that's cleared up...
As a single mother, you never get the perks of the girlfriend or the friends.. Unless he's trying to get back with you. So when the father of your child resorts to date another woman, you tend to compare yourself to that woman. Whether you think you're the better woman or you think she's the better woman.. You still compare.
--And this is where the resentment comes in...
When you need something like; "my car won't start, can you come scrape the ice off my windshield, I need you to put together the baby's bike..." Here, you have all these birds to kill, and no stones.
Because if you ask, then of course people assume that you want to be with the father... They never assume that you just need the shelf put up, or the bookshelf put together. You walk on eggshells daily, as to not offend the "significant" other. But things have to get done, so you do them. My grandparents, have both been divorced and remarried, however, the relationships between the four of them are amazing to view. Friends! Out to dinner, let's talk about life, We can sit beside each other at graduations and weddings. Our generation... We're not mature enough for that.
Now, I am strongly against single mothers/fathers breaking up happy or unhappy homes, whatever you sow, that you will also reap.. I do however believe in Mothers/Father's being responsible enough to take care of the home they created, then left.
It's so easy for one to hold down a residence, that only they reside in, or maybe have a roommate. It's easy for one to spend money that they do or don't have, because their responsibilities are limited.
But it's hard to hold down a residence for two or more, alone. I was asked if I would be willing to have a roommate to help cover the cost of living.. NOPE, not with my child in the house, you never know people these days. If they're not a good fit for your children, they shouldn't be in your life. I was talking to a young man at work yesterday, who is married with two children and he says, "parents work around their children and their babysitters schedules." I had to "LOL," because that is so true! Moving on, it's not that it's hard to say no to those extra hours offered at work, you have to say no, because you probably don't have a sitter. It's hard to keep track of you and your kids doctor and dentist appointments. It's hard figuring out THE PERFECT school because they all never seem good enough for your child. It's hard going home at night and laying there with your baby while someone else is cuddled up to the third of what you thought was your threesome.
Life comes at you fast, and this is not a complaint, it's just LIFE. I admire all single mothers and fathers who make it a point to keep pushing past the issues you're facing.
I've come to find out that if I wasn't strong enough for it, I wouldn't have been given the task. The only concern I have at this point is, "The girlfriend and the friends, are they being good examples when they're around my child.." Nothing more, Nothing Less! That's what happens when you get to the "Been There, Done That, Done With That!" Stage.
We are quick to place blame on what isn't done and never give enouragement, we never take into consideration that raising children may just be hard. It's easy, when you're not in the shoes of the condemned person, to make assumptions. It's easy to say what you would do, if it were you. It's easy to give advice, with no children. It's easy to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that you love and loves you back, and to then speak negatively of the single parent who can't easily bounce back from a failed relationship, with a child involved. It's easy for friends to say, "if you need me call me," and never be there, because you really don't have to. It's easy to become upset with me because I can never go on a date with you.. I'm sorry, I have much bigger fish to fry. It's easy to talk instead of pray...
Single Parents.. If you didn't have a ring, the family you claim was NEVER yours to begin with. Be the very best parent you can be, starting today!! And things will fall into place. FINISH SCHOOL, START YOUR BUSINESS, BE FREE OF ALL YOUR INHIBITIONS... Having a child is a PLUS, not a minus!! How strong are you? You'll NEVER wake up like Beyonce... EVER! Let It Go, Move On, and be thankful for what you do have.
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